Please Hire Me To Be Your Late Night Talk Show Host

The Byronic Man

Whoooaa, now!  Letterman announces his retirement, opening the doors to months of giving our lives meaning by arguing endlessly over who should take over and you just, just, just… name someone?  That’s just mean!  And are you sure you’ve given this enough thought?  And, NBC, on a scale of 1-to-10, how committed are you to this Fallon fellow? Are you both sure you haven’t overlooked someone? Someone the public might not expect, that would really shake things up?  Say, a handsome humor blogger?  No, not The Good Greatsby; another handsome humor blogger! Sheesh.

I think you might want to just take a step back, major networks, and think about all the reasons you should, please, hire me to be your late night talk show host.

I would have – get ready for this – a band. The band would have a charismatic lead with whom I’d trade…

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